Fifty Shades of Recovery
by fallasleepunderthesky16
Summary: When Ana leaves Christian for the last time she couldn't handle it. She left him for several months and everything went down hill from there. What she did put her life in jeopardy, because she had no Christian. Will she ever recover from what she has done? And if she does will she be reunited with her first and only love?


After reading the 50 Shades Trilogy I fell in love with everything that had to do with it. You can definitely say I'm "50 Shades of Obsessed" I'm going to be using my own creation just with E.L. James characters (Christian and Ana) I'm a young wannabe writer (16 yr.) so please go easy on me. Thanks hope you enjoy.

I can't take the loneliness anymore. What I did to Christian was wrong, he will never take me back after all the times I've run away from him, he'd be insane to let me come back into his life. I sit down on my couch in the apartment, all alone while Kate is out with Elliot. Why can't I be like Kate? Bubbly, gorgeous, and everything a man would want in a woman. I begin to sob thinking about Christian and the love we shared and all the times we made passionate love together in his bed and even those times in the Red Room of Pain where Christian's kinky secrets came to life. "Fuck what have I done?" I cry out with my hands over my eyes and salty tears streaming down my face. It's been several months since I've left Christian. I've seen therapists and many psychiatrists that Dr. Flynn has recommended for me to talk to and receive meds. I wanted to see Dr. Flynn but I know it would've been a "conflict of interest" since that is Christian's doctor. I think of his beautiful copper colored hair, the sweat I've felt on his sculpted body after sex and the weight of his body on me after he has climaxed. I could cum at the thoughts. I know that I would never have that again he's probably with another women who is more beautiful and more loving of his ways, and every flaw he has. I can't stop sobbing. I'm pathetic in every which way. I've become so depressed just over a man, but he's not just any man he's something so much more he's my everything and I know I'm his as well. I begin to think life isn't for me without my 50. I can't live any longer. My life is useless. I get up and walk to the fridge I find a bottle of Pouilly Fumé which reminds me of my first night at Escala with Christian. I open the bottle and down it like water; I didn't even bother to get a glass. I remember I have pills in the medicine cabinet. _No Ana you can't do this to yourself. _My inner goddess speaks to me, just not in a sexual way. I don't listen to her and stagger to the bathroom. I open the medicine cabinet to find my anti-depressants sitting there looking back at me, I reach for them but hesitate. _Ana don't do this what would Kate think? You don't want to disappoint her or anybody especially Ray._ I put my arm down and think of my step father Ray. Something dark whispers to me and I listen, _Ana go ahead and do it. Take all those pills. Christian doesn't love you anymore he doesn't want you, you can't have him back. You're worthless. Fuck what everybody thinks its about you and only you._ I agree with this dark whisper and grab the bottle; I pour the small, white pills into my hand. I count six and not even thinking twice I shove them in my mouth, grab the cup next to the faucet and fill it with water and take a big gulp and down the pills go. I stand there and face to mirror and sob again thinking of Christian and my family that I will never see again. All I want is to be happy and if this is what it takes than so be it. Within in a few minutes I fall to the bathroom floor.

"Ana?" Kate walks into the apartment with Elliot. "Ana you here?" "Maybe she's gone out with Carla." Elliot says. Kate sits on the couch. "I'm gonna use your bathroom." Kate nods back at Elliot with a smile. Elliot opens the door and he finds me on the floor. "Holy shit" Elliot says in surprise. He than yells, "Kate!" Kate yells "Yeah!" in return. "Hurry up I found Ana!" Kate hops up and runs to the bathroom. "Oh my god!" Kate pushes Elliot out of the way and gets on her knees beside me and starts shaking me. It's been at least 25 minutes since I collapsed. "Elliot call 911 now!" Elliot reaches in his pocket and pulls out his cell and calls. Elliot waits in the living room for the police and paramedics. I can hear the paramedics coming in the apartment along with the police; the police stay in the living room with Elliot so they can ask some questions. Kate is still by my side but she has to move so the paramedics can get me. I want to tell her to move but I can't. Kate gets out of the small bathroom and lets them in. I feel them hoist me up on the gurney. Thank god were on the first floor or they would never get me out in time. We're outside now I can feel the cool breeze on my skin but can't do anything about it. I can hear Kate demanding that she goes with me in the ambulance. They get me situated and I can hear the loud noise of the sirens so I know I'm on my way to the hospital. I can feel Kate holding my almost lifeless hand and I can hear _her _sobbing instead of me.

It has now been 2 hours since I've gotten my stomach pumped. They now know that I _am _alive but I have a long ways to go before I recover. I can hear the doctor talking to Kate and I believe my mother and Ray are here as well. I can hear there sobs all around me and questions about whether I'm going to live or not. I would just like to wake up and tell them that I _am _sorry and that I _do _love them and nothing like this would ever happen again but I simply can't. The doctor tells everyone that I'm in a coma and he is not sure when I'll get out of it. I feel Ray holding my hand and crying while whispering why I did this and what he did wrong, my mother is here as well but is too upset to even touch me. I'm not sure where Kate went, I don't her voice anymore.

Kate and Elliot wait outside my room and are talking quietly to each other. "I think you should call Christian." Kate looks down at the Emergency room floor. "I don't know how I can; it would break his heart to know that she tried to _kill_ herself. Shit if he knew that, he would do the same thing." Elliot runs his hand through his curly blonde hair and sighs. "Please you have to do it, he must know." Kate steps closer into Elliot he hugs her tightly and cries on her shoulder. "I just can't, you don't know Christian like I do. Since Ana hurt herself, Christian would do it twice as hard. Ana is his everything I've never seen him happy with anyone or with anything other than her." Kate is now holding him and rubbing his back. "I know but you must tell him Elliot, you just do." Elliot steps out of her touch and dials Christian's number. "No one's picking up Kate" "Leave him a message." Elliot sighs. "Hey Christian its Elliot, You need to get down to the hospital as soon as possible. Something bad has happened to Ana." Elliot leaves the message at that and hangs up. Within seconds the phone rings. "It's Christian." "Answer it damn it" "Hello?" "I'm on my way. Christian hangs up immediately.

I can hear Kate and Elliot in my room; they're talking to mom and Ray. I hear loud running coming from outside of my room. I figure its nurses and doctors rushing another sick person to a room. The running stops at my door and I hear the voice that makes me shudder with pleaser where my sex lies, but I can't feel a thing. Christian talks to Elliot and he tells him what happened, he sighs and I know he rubbed his hand through his beautiful copper colored hair like he always does when he sighs. I can hear his footsteps coming closer the bed, he touches my face and runs his hand through my hair and begins to cry. I can feel his weight on me like when he's done climaxing but we're not having sex. I'm in a hospital bed lying here in a coma as the love of my life is crying on my shoulder while whispering "Oh Ana" over and over again. Even when I'm in a coma he always finds a way to be romantic and I love that about him. I know he would do anything he possibly can do to make me happy. I know he feels guilty as if this was his whole entire fault. It's not, it's mine all mine. I'm selfish that I did something like this, I never thought of how it would impact the ones I love especially Christian.

It's has been two days now since I've been in my coma, I hear no one. I'm all alone and I wonder if my loved ones will ever come back. I start to feel another hand patting mine and a woman's voice and I come to realize that it belongs to my mother. It's getting louder and I feel myself coming towards it. "Ana, wake up." My mother repeats again and again. I can hear her calling me but all I can think of is Christian. As I come closer to the voice I open my eyes. I call out "Christian?" I see my mothers face looking back at me very confused. "Ana, its me." I don't acknowledge her again. "Christian? Where is Christian?" my voice sounds horse and groggy. I see Ray stand up off the chair that's at the foot of my bed and walks over to the right where Christian lies asleep in a chair right next to me. Ray whispers that I'm awake and instantly Christian rises and leans forward and touches me on my left cheek. "Oh sweet Ana" he says and lies his head in between my breasts and starts to cry. I raise my weak arms and I pet his head over and over again, feeling the soft touch of his hair. "It's okay Christian I'm here and I'm never going anywhere but with you." He lifts his head and his piercing grey eyes meet mine he leans in for the most romantic kiss I've ever had from him. Tears fall from his eyes and I kiss them away while rubbing my hands on his soft face. "I love you Anastasia Rose Steele." Our lips meet again and his tongue invades my mouth and I can't help but to touch mine with his. "I love you as well Christian Trevelyan Grey. I'm dying to make passionate love with him. I oh so hunger for that powerfully intense "earth shattering" orgasm that he gives me and I know he feels the same. I now realize we are surrounded by the people we love and Christian is again lying on my breasts. "Christian I'm so sorry I-" he cuts me off. "I know I want to be with you too but for right we need to focus on your recovery. A nurse now arrives with my lunch so Christian steps back and pulls the tray over to me. "So to start off with your recovery you will need to eat first." He says with a smile.


End file.
